Run #15 - June 7th, 2012

Today's run was tough, not to mention a giant wake up call. I hadn't run outside in two weeks because of the conference. Then some post conference crazy at work happened and I needed yoga more than I needed running this week. But when I woke up today and realized it is already June 7th, which means this half marathon is literally 2.5 weeks away. 

It has already been ridiculously hot this June and even the thought of running after work makes me sweat, but I honestly cannot drag myself out of bed to do a morning run before work. So today, I had to do an evening run. 

I wanted to push myself to do another 5 miles and I came close, but ultimately I lost the battle with my feet. I started out on my 5 mile route and was doing good for the first mile, but miles 1-2 was full of side cramps and sweat. At one point I got smacked in the face by a sprinkler, which would have felt good, if it had been a gentler sprinkler, but that one almost knocked me right off balance. Around mile three, my feet began hurting and that little running enemy called blisters, started to form. I kept going, because I had no other way to get home and I wanted to end the pain as quickly as possible, but around mile 3.5 - 4.5 it became a pretty painful run/walk. Thankfully, at mile 4.5 a woman had found a lost dog and needed help locating the street name on his collar, so I sat down with her and we looked it up on my phone. I helped her get the dog to its owner and then took off my shoes and hobbled the last half mile home.

There is no way I am going to be able to pull this off. The furthest I have ever run was 5 miles and that was three weeks prior. How on earth am I going to add another 8 miles to that is 2.5 weeks? This half marathon was really a bad idea. 

Lesson Learned: I need to buy something called 'wicking socks', to keep my feet dry and blister free.  

Distance: 4.51 miles

Time: 50:16

Run #12/13/14 - End of May 2012

Running in Texas sucks. Running on a treadmill also sucks. Trying to cram in a few runs is while also attending a national conference sucks too.

It was way to hot and way to humid to run outside while I was in Houston, so I decided to get a few treadmill runs in at the hotel. I can say with confidence, that I cannot stand running on a treadmill. I could only make it one mile before I thought I might collapse from boredom or suffocate on the stale air blowing into my mouth from the treadmill fan. I made it a point to run as fast as I could for 1 mile, I think I even broke 10 minutes one day! Then I would do some weights and core work but forced myself to end the workout with another painful mile.

I did it, but I didn't like it. I must ask, how do you treadmill folks do it? I know when I started to run outside, it was incredibly hard, but running on a treadmill is sheer brutal torture!

Run #11 - May 26th, 2012

Today was a monumental day. After months, I finally solved a shopping cart mystery & I kept my pace under an 11 minute mile. I didn't think the latter bit was all that exciting, but my friends Bruce & Julia, who are more established runners than myself, are baffled by my consistency to always run an 11:06 ish mile. My pace doesn't seem to wavier. It doesn't seem to matter if am running 1 mile or 5 miles. But, what they are saying, is if I am running just a few miles, I should be going faster. Alas, this is not something I have learned yet in my running experience. At this point I am just trying to run as far as I can, without dying. So today, I was pretty impressed with myself for logging an average pace of 10:52 per mile. 

I have to be completely honest though. The extra speed in today's run did not come from a place of challenging myself, building motivation or even just growing athleticism. It came from a place of anger. 

You see, for the past several months, someone has been shoving empty shopping carts in front of my condo door. I have always suspected it was my upstairs neighbors, but they kept blaming me and my roommates for it, telling us we were junking up the neighborhood. We talked to some other neighbors, left notes asking people to please return their carts, but alas, they kept showing up in front of our door. 

I decided to wake up and go for a morning run today, since I would be packing to leave for Texas and running errands the rest of the day. But I also needed to pay my bills. So I decided to change up my route a bit, so I could run by the post office box in front of the grocery store nearby and drop off my bills. 

As I was crossing the street, I see my upstairs neighbor, pushing a shopping cart across toward our building. This is the same neighbor who blamed me and my roommates for leaving shopping carts around and insisted they never took shopping carts from the store. So right there, as I passed her in the street, I confronted her and said, "If that shopping cart winds up in front of my door, I will know who to blame". She looked a bit shocked at first, because I don't think she realized who I was at first, since the setting was out of context.

I spent the entire run fuming mad and wondering if that damn shopping cart would be there when I returned from my run. Wondering what I would say if it was. And apparently running faster than I had run before. 

When I returned home, the cart was there, but it was actually in front of their staircase and not our door for once. And by the time I had showered, the cart was gone. (And since I am actually writing this post several months later, I am happy to report, there have not been any stray shopping carts in front of my door since, although they are winding up in the parking lot now...)

Lesson Learned: Passionate running = faster running

Distance: 3.55 miles

Time: 38:33

Run #10 - May 21st, 2012

I finally bought a few new songs to add to my iPod playlist - Nicki Minaj! I was pretty excited about adding two of her tracks to my overused playlist, because I love singing the songs, they are poppy and peppy and figured it might bring a little skip to my step if they popped up in the middle of a longer run. I was determined to run 4 miles this morning, wishing I could somehow make it more, since I am still fairly far behind on being ready for this half marathon which is now a month away.

A mile into my run, that lingering thought was still in my mind. "Why couldn't I add on to my loop and make it a little longer? Maybe I should continue down the road for just a half mile more and turn around. I know this stretch of the road is flat. Then I would finally be at 5 miles." Then I was there, at the stoplight, wondering if I should make the initial turn on my loop, or challenge myself to run a little further, when Nicki decided to grace my ear buds with her bubble gum melody. To hell with it, I should enjoy the motivation and add to the run. If I die out here, my roommate knows to come looking for my body (I give him strict instructions before I leave the house on a run, letting him know where I might be lying dead from exhaustion, and to come find me if too much time has passed). 

And that was that. I was off for my first ever, 5 mile run. The music was pumping, the sun was blaring, but the pavement was flat and made it easy to add the extra distance on my run. About mile 3, I realized I was just over halfway home and that made me a bit sick, thinking I still had two more miles to go, wondering if it would be possible, but then Nicki came back on and shouted "BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BABY!" and that is all it took to get my feet back in a rhythm. 

Around mile 4, I discovered running blisters. Then my friend, negative profanity came seeping back into my running repertoire. "Fuck. I hate running. Who likes to exercise when it brings this kind of pain? Running this much obviously isn't good for people. 4 miles must be the boundary between a good workout and pushing yourself too far. Screw this half marathon".

Logical thought took over a little while later, reminding me that I had literally come so far and I only had a short distance to go and that quitting now, would be, well, quitting. And I should take this moment to appreciate the challenge and to finish the damn run and deal with the growing pocket of pain once I got home. I also reminded myself that the faster I ran, the sooner it would be over, so I might as well buck up and get it over with. 

So I made it. 5 miles. First time ever. 

Lesson Learned: Spicing things up is good. Sweating on your feet is bad. 

Distance: 5.16 miles

Time: 56:53

Run #9 - May 16th, 2012

In case you were wondering, the importance of having a workout buddy is so someone can help keep you accountable and motivated. The problem is, they actually do these things. After our run on Sunday, my friend Ashley wanted to meet me for a post work run. She was headed to my side of town and since I work on campus, I suggested that we do a big campus loop. I know there are tons of 5k races which happen on my campus every year, but I haven't yet participated in one, so why not make our own?

As the day was dwindling, and my motivation was slipping away with the hours, I kept trying to slip Ashley some deterrents, from actually showing up to our scheduled run. I talked about the smoke from the fire (which wasn't blowing our way today), and the clouds in the sky that could possibly produce ran, and even tried to convince her that we should go to dinner or do something fun instead of running. Sadly, she wasn't falling for any of it. She showed up with her iPod in hand, her shoes laced up, and her game face on. Damn. I was now committed. It was now too late for a last minute excuse. This run was going to happen. 

We set out across campus, and since Ashley had never been on campus, I was able to point out buildings or tell stories from my good ol' college days. The minutes flew past, the scenery was energetic and exciting to run against and the weather was perfect. By the time we had completed the loop, I was ready to push forward and run more. I had never experienced that feeling before. The actual desire to continue running. It was pretty exciting to finish a run and not feel like death and want to do more, but I guess I will need to save it for another day. 

Lesson Learned: Getting lost in a run is an important part of actually enjoying it.  

Distance: 3.2 miles

Time: 35:51

Run #8 - May 13th, 2012

Today I re-learned a vital life lesson - The Buddy System. Up until now, I have never wanted to run with anyone else, but me, myself & I. This avoidance had stemmed from my insecurity in my own running skills, thinking I was too slow to run with others, or if I needed to stop, I would be judged for it. So instead of taking my friends up on their offers to run together, I would casually come up with an excuse to get out of it. But this morning, in a state of under-caffeinated delirium , I suggested going on a run together with my friend Ashley. I really wanted to get both a run in, as well as a gym workout, and since Ashley was sponsoring my 3 day guest pass at the gym, I needed her. So on Sunday morning, bleary eyed and itching to get my body in shape, I suggested to Ashley that she drive to my house and we run the 2 miles to the gym, work out, and then run the 2 miles home. A part of me thought she would never go for it, but a part of me knew that she has commitment and drive and would drag me out of bed to join her in my plan. And she did.

The two miles to the gym went well, she pushed my pace and we were able to make small talk here and there. The two miles flew by and I didn't even have any profane thoughts. So not only does running with a friend hold me more accountable, it makes my head less angry. I guess I should take note of this positive correlation.

At the gym, Ashley ran me through a series of Cross Fit exercises, sufficiently wearing me out, and when we were done, Ashley put a smile on her face, and in a sweet Texas accent, she reminded me that we still needed to run the two miles home.

At this point, I was hot, hungry and not happy with myself for developing such an exhausting plan. But we tightened our shoe laces, took a swig of water (or in my case a really big chug), cued up our music and hit the pavement to complete our Sunday morning workout.

Halfway home, I realized I should not have downed 20 ounces of water before leaving the gym, and then the side cramps started, the gross, water bubbling up your throat feeling came creeping on and I wanted to walk. So when I finally speak up and tell Ashley I need to walk, she looks at me and tells me I will be ok and to swing my arms, we are almost there and to keep running.  Then she says that we should sprint the last tenth of a mile. There may have been a profane thought or two that went through my head at that moment, but all in all, I survived and I am grateful for the encouragement she provided during my first buddy run.

Lesson Learned: Running Buddies are good. Drink water in moderation.
Distance: 4 miles total
Time: ??? 

Run #7 - May 6th, 2012

In an attempt to shake things up after my last run and hopefully get more motivation, I finally decided to map out a loop for my journey. Now this might seem like a basic concept to some of the more experienced runners out there, but I really don't like surprises and don't want to get stuck running through a neighborhood I am unfamiliar with or knowing where a sidewalk might suddenly end. And because I don't like to think about running, I never really take the time to plan these things out in advance. Instead of mapping out a loop, I usually just run down the street for a bit, until I hit a mile or two, and then turn around and come back.

So today I mapped out a 4 mile loop, ate a little breakfast, and went out for a morning run. I started off with my usual path, down the big hill, past the meadow and up the big hill, but instead of turning 180 degrees, I decided to turn 90 degrees and started to tackle my first loop. I ran a mile down a road I had never traveled on before and realized it was a gorgeous tree lined street, with lovely houses. There was some horse shit to avoid on the pavement, but I enjoyed all of the trees.

A mile later, I turned on a much busier street, knowing that this would be the mile that would bring me home. What I hadn't planned for was the number of the street lights and traffic I would be running parallel with. Every few minutes, I had to stop at another light and wait for the sexist racist man to signal permission for me to continue on my way. At one point, I may have been screaming at a Saturn, who was trying to force me to run against the signal, into oncoming traffic. I was hot, sweaty and trying to be a law abiding citizen and this woman starts waving me on (when I can't go) and then leans out of her car window and is yelling at me to cross, so then she won't have to wait for me. I look up at the signal and the giant red hand is still giving me the 'no go'. I point to the sign and the oncoming traffic, but she keeps waving and yelling. So finally the Italian in my comes out, my hands start waving back, and explicit language flow from my lips. I actually shocked myself as well as the lady and before I knew it, the sexist racist man appeared on the signal, thus giving me my freedom to run again. I sprinted back home, a bit pissed off and a bit ashamed. Ultimately blaming my language on the evils of running.

Lesson Learned: Run down a less busy street and keep my hand over my mouth
Distance: 4.14 miles
Time: 46:54 (I blame some of the slowness on the traffic lights)

Run #6 - April 29th, 2012

The goal today was 4 miles. It didn't need to be pretty, it just needed to be accomplished. I was already massively sore from my Yoga Body Bootcamp class the day before, but this was cardio and my heart, lungs, and legs needed to experience 4 miles, for the first time in my life.
Surprisingly, there was not a great deal of profanity that entered my thoughts while running. I was mostly, dare I say it, bored. The weather was that right amount of warm yet crisp, so I couldn't complain about the weather and the route is becoming familar. I know at what point on each hill I will struggle and I get excited for the dips in elevation where I can pick up speed. I am still running at a slow pace, I still have to pause for side cramps and I still wonder why I am doing this, but none of this bothered me today. The one thing that stuck out as an issue is the dozen or so songs I have had on my running playlist since February are becoming less exciting. My music is what has been carrying me through these runs and I find myself skipping songs or becoming less motivated by their meaning or their beat. So apparently I need to shake things up a bit!

Does anyone have any suggestions of songs to add to my playlist? No 'Eye of the Tiger' please.

Running Playlist

1. Shake it Out - Florence + The Machine
2. Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
3. My Body - Young the Giant
4. We are Young - Fun.
5. Run the World - Beyonce
6. Boom Boom Pow - The Black Eyed Peas
7. Pump It - The Black Eyed Peas
8. Til the World Ends - Britney Spears
9. I Believe In A Thing Called Love - The Darkness
10. Tear Away - Drowning Pool
11. I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked - Ida Maria
12. Roll Away Your Stone - Mumford & Sons
13. Dragula - Rob Zombie
14. Show Me How You Burlesque - Christina Agulara
15. Blow - Ke$ha

Lesson Learned: Variety is KEY
Distance: 4.02 miles
Time: 44:25

Run #5 - April 27th, 2012

Today's run went a little something like this:

1. Get dressed for run
2. Sync up music and running ap to iPhone and strap into arm band
3. Lock apartment door
4. Step outside
5. Get blasted by epic amounts of wind
6. Say screw you to the wind and start running
7. Make it down the street before being bitch slapped by the wind and attacked by a tumble weed.
8. Turn around with tears streaming down my face because the wind is literally whipping the moisture from my eyes
9. Walk the 2 blocks home protecting face from flying debris
10. Remember that Mother Nature always wins

Run #4 - April 22nd, 2012

Today, I had 3 thoughts while running:

1. How on earth did I eat so much at home this weekend?
2. Why is my left quad numb. Maybe my left quad is having a heart attack...
3. What type of underware is the best underware to run in? Because these are NOT it.

As you can see, all very thought provoking topics. While #2 should have been the most concerning, I figured I had damaged the nerves in my leg earlier in the day, while I spent 3 hours in a car, refusing to pull off the highway to pee. Yes, I know that is personal, but that is when my leg went numb. So I made the over-reacting assumption that this is where the 'holding it' strategy finally failed for me, as it was now causing paralysis. I thought to counter act that, a nice run might sort me out. 

Instead, I imagine today's run looked something like a one person, Three Stooges, act. I was trapped between punching my left leg, in order to try and get some feeling to trickle back into it while juggling the need to keep rearranging the underware which kept shifting into places and spaces my body didn't want it. Top that off with the occasional side cramp from all the eating I did at home and I would call today's run a very successful shit show.

Lesson Learned: Granny panties are not for running, they are just for laundry day & do as my mother always said and always try to go before you leave the house.

Distance: 3.41 miles

Time: 37:34

Run #3 - April 17th, 2012

What I thought about during Run #3 -

When I decided to run my first race right around a year ago, I was really nervous and thought that a 5k might be the end of me. I had never conceived of running 3 miles before and have even played out the scenario, that if I was being chased by a scary person, they would probably catch me in the end, because I am slow and I hate running. The whole, 'run for your life' mentality just didn't sound worth it. Especially if I was going to wind up keeling over from all the - trying to run away business anyway.

So, when I started talking about running a 5k last year, several of my friends started telling me all these crazy things like - 'a 5k is a great distance!'; 'that is one of my favorite race distances' and '3.1 miles is really a wonderful way to challenge yourself'. I would hear these things and think to myself, 'friend, you are f-ing crazy' or 'there is nothing great about running 3 miles. It hurts me and therefore, I would like to punch you right now for thinking this is good'. But I would just smile and nod and continue on my way.

After running my first two 5k's, my friend Jill tried talking me into a 10k. She kept trying to use encouraging phrases like - 'a 10k is so much better than a 5k!' and 'it's a great distance'. I thought I might beat her up if she didn't stop with all the 10k talk, but thankfully she ate pavement while running one afternoon and gave herself a 3rd degree sprain. There was no way she was running that race and I was off the hook! (I would like to take a moment and tell Jill, that I really do love her and do not wish her any real pain in life).

But last month, after the St. Paddy's Day 5k, my friend Sara tried talking me into running a 10k. I laughed and I laughed. Yet, she kept trying to tell me that 'a 10k is just a fantastic distance and a great challenge!'.

Then the margaritas happened two weeks ago. Ashley and Sara ganged up on my running resistance and after lowering my willpower with the magic of a margarita, those two girls talked me into running 13.1 miles. That same night at dinner, one of Ashley's friends started talking about how much she loved running and that a half marathon was an amazing distance.

Last week - I posted the 'news' to my Weight Watchers profile and while hoping to get a different response from my weight loss community (like, girl - you are crazy, get out of this thing now and just go earn some activity points like a normal person) but instead I started getting peppy comments. And guess what they said?  'A half is a great distance, perhaps my favorite distance to run!'  I couldn't help but think to myself, 'really?!' Is every distance, really magical and wonderful and perfect? I still hate running 3.1 miles and I sure as hell will hate running 6.2 and you have got to be kidding me if you think, I think, this half marathon is the perfect distance. I will tell you that it is perfectly insane and that is why I am doing it.

To all my crazy running friends. I love you, but it is ok to secretly hate all of those distances too!

Lesson Learned - Every distance is a great distance and I should embrace them all with open arms and cushioned socks. Someday. Maybe.

Distance: 3.21 miles

Time: 36:24

Run #2 - Saturday April 14th, 2012

Mind wanderings from my second 'training' run.

Why did I stay out until 2 am dancing last night? My legs feel like jello, I am tired and dehydrated. First running, than dancing, now running again. Is this my life now? I have to run 3 miles this morning, even if it kills me. Why? I just do. Everyone keeps telling me I need to establish my 'base' before I can start training for this thing, so I will run 3 miles and give them their damn base. I just need to add a mile a week and I will be fine. Screw a training plan. Screw training. Why is it so sunny today? Shit – I forgot to wear sunscreen. My face hurts. My head hurts. My legs want to go to sleep. Suck it body, you are going to finish this 3 miles.

See, look, I did it. Fuck you half marathon. I am coming to get you.

Lesson Learned Today - Wear sunscreen.

Training Run #1 - Friday, April 13th, 2012

Rambling thoughts from my first 'training' run, with 13.1 miles in mind.

My test run. Can I actually still run? I haven’t run since the St. Paddy’s Day 5k. Maybe I will get 5 feet and vomit and then I will have a reason to back out of this thing. Nope, I am still running. Why? Why am I still running and how can I still run 2 miles without stopping? That is bull shit. Thanks a lot body. If I can do 2 miles, my friends are going to think I can do 13 miles. Crazy friends. 

Why are there so many mosquitoes on this path? Gotta hold my breath so they stop flying into my mouth. Crap, holding my breath means I can't breath and now I am gasping for air. Oh look another mosquito flew into my mouth. Gross! Is spitting illegal? Why am I running near the police station when I need to spit this bug carcass out of my mouth! This sucks. I hate running.

Lesson Learned Today: Run on a different path.

I Hate Running.

I hate running. I hate almost everything about it. I hate the pounding of the ground against my feet and the pounding of my heart against my chest. I hate the taste of blood and metal which seems to fill my mouth when I run too fast or too long. I hate that my runs seem to go on forever with no end result and no winner. The only thing I actually enjoy about running is that I am outside moving against a beautiful Colorado backdrop. Which highlights my next issue with running - even more so than running outside, I despise the monotony of a treadmill. I truly hate that I really am going nowhere. I hate the stale air the treadmill fan blows on my face. And I hate the digital countdown which blares against my pupils almost taunting me as it slowly counts down the time I have spent being stationary, yet moving. I hate running.

So why on earth did I sign up to run a half marathon in 2 months? There is one simple answer – it was all because of a damn margarita.