Run #4 - April 22nd, 2012

Today, I had 3 thoughts while running:

1. How on earth did I eat so much at home this weekend?
2. Why is my left quad numb. Maybe my left quad is having a heart attack...
3. What type of underware is the best underware to run in? Because these are NOT it.

As you can see, all very thought provoking topics. While #2 should have been the most concerning, I figured I had damaged the nerves in my leg earlier in the day, while I spent 3 hours in a car, refusing to pull off the highway to pee. Yes, I know that is personal, but that is when my leg went numb. So I made the over-reacting assumption that this is where the 'holding it' strategy finally failed for me, as it was now causing paralysis. I thought to counter act that, a nice run might sort me out. 

Instead, I imagine today's run looked something like a one person, Three Stooges, act. I was trapped between punching my left leg, in order to try and get some feeling to trickle back into it while juggling the need to keep rearranging the underware which kept shifting into places and spaces my body didn't want it. Top that off with the occasional side cramp from all the eating I did at home and I would call today's run a very successful shit show.

Lesson Learned: Granny panties are not for running, they are just for laundry day & do as my mother always said and always try to go before you leave the house.

Distance: 3.41 miles

Time: 37:34

Run #3 - April 17th, 2012

What I thought about during Run #3 -

When I decided to run my first race right around a year ago, I was really nervous and thought that a 5k might be the end of me. I had never conceived of running 3 miles before and have even played out the scenario, that if I was being chased by a scary person, they would probably catch me in the end, because I am slow and I hate running. The whole, 'run for your life' mentality just didn't sound worth it. Especially if I was going to wind up keeling over from all the - trying to run away business anyway.

So, when I started talking about running a 5k last year, several of my friends started telling me all these crazy things like - 'a 5k is a great distance!'; 'that is one of my favorite race distances' and '3.1 miles is really a wonderful way to challenge yourself'. I would hear these things and think to myself, 'friend, you are f-ing crazy' or 'there is nothing great about running 3 miles. It hurts me and therefore, I would like to punch you right now for thinking this is good'. But I would just smile and nod and continue on my way.

After running my first two 5k's, my friend Jill tried talking me into a 10k. She kept trying to use encouraging phrases like - 'a 10k is so much better than a 5k!' and 'it's a great distance'. I thought I might beat her up if she didn't stop with all the 10k talk, but thankfully she ate pavement while running one afternoon and gave herself a 3rd degree sprain. There was no way she was running that race and I was off the hook! (I would like to take a moment and tell Jill, that I really do love her and do not wish her any real pain in life).

But last month, after the St. Paddy's Day 5k, my friend Sara tried talking me into running a 10k. I laughed and I laughed. Yet, she kept trying to tell me that 'a 10k is just a fantastic distance and a great challenge!'.

Then the margaritas happened two weeks ago. Ashley and Sara ganged up on my running resistance and after lowering my willpower with the magic of a margarita, those two girls talked me into running 13.1 miles. That same night at dinner, one of Ashley's friends started talking about how much she loved running and that a half marathon was an amazing distance.

Last week - I posted the 'news' to my Weight Watchers profile and while hoping to get a different response from my weight loss community (like, girl - you are crazy, get out of this thing now and just go earn some activity points like a normal person) but instead I started getting peppy comments. And guess what they said?  'A half is a great distance, perhaps my favorite distance to run!'  I couldn't help but think to myself, 'really?!' Is every distance, really magical and wonderful and perfect? I still hate running 3.1 miles and I sure as hell will hate running 6.2 and you have got to be kidding me if you think, I think, this half marathon is the perfect distance. I will tell you that it is perfectly insane and that is why I am doing it.

To all my crazy running friends. I love you, but it is ok to secretly hate all of those distances too!

Lesson Learned - Every distance is a great distance and I should embrace them all with open arms and cushioned socks. Someday. Maybe.

Distance: 3.21 miles

Time: 36:24

Run #2 - Saturday April 14th, 2012

Mind wanderings from my second 'training' run.

Why did I stay out until 2 am dancing last night? My legs feel like jello, I am tired and dehydrated. First running, than dancing, now running again. Is this my life now? I have to run 3 miles this morning, even if it kills me. Why? I just do. Everyone keeps telling me I need to establish my 'base' before I can start training for this thing, so I will run 3 miles and give them their damn base. I just need to add a mile a week and I will be fine. Screw a training plan. Screw training. Why is it so sunny today? Shit – I forgot to wear sunscreen. My face hurts. My head hurts. My legs want to go to sleep. Suck it body, you are going to finish this 3 miles.

See, look, I did it. Fuck you half marathon. I am coming to get you.

Lesson Learned Today - Wear sunscreen.

Training Run #1 - Friday, April 13th, 2012

Rambling thoughts from my first 'training' run, with 13.1 miles in mind.

My test run. Can I actually still run? I haven’t run since the St. Paddy’s Day 5k. Maybe I will get 5 feet and vomit and then I will have a reason to back out of this thing. Nope, I am still running. Why? Why am I still running and how can I still run 2 miles without stopping? That is bull shit. Thanks a lot body. If I can do 2 miles, my friends are going to think I can do 13 miles. Crazy friends. 

Why are there so many mosquitoes on this path? Gotta hold my breath so they stop flying into my mouth. Crap, holding my breath means I can't breath and now I am gasping for air. Oh look another mosquito flew into my mouth. Gross! Is spitting illegal? Why am I running near the police station when I need to spit this bug carcass out of my mouth! This sucks. I hate running.

Lesson Learned Today: Run on a different path.

I Hate Running.

I hate running. I hate almost everything about it. I hate the pounding of the ground against my feet and the pounding of my heart against my chest. I hate the taste of blood and metal which seems to fill my mouth when I run too fast or too long. I hate that my runs seem to go on forever with no end result and no winner. The only thing I actually enjoy about running is that I am outside moving against a beautiful Colorado backdrop. Which highlights my next issue with running - even more so than running outside, I despise the monotony of a treadmill. I truly hate that I really am going nowhere. I hate the stale air the treadmill fan blows on my face. And I hate the digital countdown which blares against my pupils almost taunting me as it slowly counts down the time I have spent being stationary, yet moving. I hate running.

So why on earth did I sign up to run a half marathon in 2 months? There is one simple answer – it was all because of a damn margarita.